At the end of a day that will live in infamy (for me anyhow... you know, one of those "if anything could go wrong it would" type days), I got to talk to my mom for about 2 hours (after much prayer and supplication). We talked about stuff that was totally unrelated to me and my life, which is a good break. We talked about things that have happened before and about what a rotten child my brother was. We laughed (a lot) about the times that my brother said something stupid and one time when he stole my mom's rental car when we had just moved to Tampa. He made it all the way to Atlanta and just couldn't drive normally, so he was pulled over by a cop and arrested... And he was all of 15 years old at the time...

At the end of the conversation I realized that for as many times as I have told people that I would give anything to live with my parents again, I sure hang on to Tampa like it's the be all end all of places to live. I realized that she has a huge house there and lives right near Phoenix (which has a lot of opportunity), so I told her that I was considering a move there.

I've only told two people this and I guess it's not that big of a deal, considering I would move back as soon as I could get up on my feet again. I have just felt so swamped for so long, and now that I have a job, it seems like the bills are even bigger, and school seems so much tougher. A little time away wouldn't hurt, I know so many of my friends that have moved here from other places in similar situations. Not to mention the fact that my mom's boyfriend is a really cool mechanic and can get the hook-up for my car (definitely not the main reason I'm going, but cool nonetheless).

So turns out this has been a year of change and molding, and I feel somewhat blessed, and also tried, that I can be guided by the Lord in so many ways. He is so much bigger than me, and He will have his way, whether I want the same thing or not. Eventually I pray that my desires coincide with his desires.

Haha, an interjection: This is a funny conversation I'm having with TheSockStealer:

Frogboy777: i might be moving to Arizona
TheSockStealer: why why why
Frogboy777: Because my mom lives there
TheSockStealer: but ... so?
Frogboy777: I hear the call of "no bills, no cooking, no chores"
TheSockStealer: buuut
TheSockStealer: Arizona sucks
TheSockStealer: like
TheSockStealer: it really does
TheSockStealer: it just called
TheSockStealer: and it told me it sucks
Frogboy777: LOL
TheSockStealer: for real

At one point in the conversation with mom, we started talking about my dad (they don't talk to each other so much). She told me that last time they talked (maybe a month ago) that he told her anytime she wanted to get together and have dinner he was up for it (which, seeing as how the distance between them is about a whole continent, strikes me as pretty funny) and that he could buy plane tickets anytime he wanted if she just "said the word". I was SHOCKED! The whole messy divorce and all the crap that followed for me and mom and several others was caused by his decision to leave us. Is that why I'm so fickle? I wonder if it's hereditary... Based on this, she told me not to tell him that she was coming or else he might come down here to and try to make his move (very weird scenario...)

Anyway, apart from all the times that I have prayed they would get back together, I actually felt like my mom was right in saying no to him, and basically laughing in his face. I was careful not to give my opinion however, because I do still want them to get married again, just when it is the right time, you know? I mean timing is everything; I'm learning that.