I'm sitting here at almost 3am on a computer on campus that I'm not supposed to be using; I can't sleep. I've been wondering recently why it is that I go long periods of time (never quite this long) without posting anything but pictures and passing comments, and I'm not sure I know.

I think maybe it's because increasingly, I find it more and more difficult to answer the question "how are you doing?" without getting more specific than the asker wanted, and without being vaguely general, too much so to encompass a real answer to the question. Truth is, I feel vulnerable, rejected, changed, moved, lazy... You get the point I think. Good. Bad. Worse. Great. All at once.

I'm thinking we're not careful enough with each other. I know you'll agree, we've all felt shafted at times. Disregarded. Insulted. Just alltogether unloved. More and more I feel like the line between emotional and physical pain is being smudged in my life; I can't think of a worse pain than rejection or ridicule. Not one thing. Tears from a stubbed toe are so much easier than an endless stream of them from a beaten spirit.

Does that make sense?