The clock is ticking behind me, and it’s been a while since I’ve spoken as everyone else has been unconscious for about seven hours now. My sleep has been sporadic for the past few weeks, so when I go to sleep now, I’m never quite sure when exactly I’ll wake up. I made myself go to sleep at 10pm and woke up at about 2am unable to return, for example. So I read a story called "Teddy".

Then some time passed.

There’s something about 4am that’s so clear. Somehow, I can be completely sober-minded in examining things (inwardly or outwardly) and can still, despite then harshness of reality, be okay with the truth. It’s incredible.

Today I’m okay with the inevitability of death. And while some would hiss at me for acknowledging it and would remind me of my youth, the truth is, everyone is afflicted with it. Near or far, it’s coming. And I’m okay with that. In fact, it’s done wonders in my consideration of what it means to be effective, and what it means to be honest, and what sin is, and why it’s never good.

Both fear and illusion disappear at this hour, and all that's left is absoluteness, uncensored and crisp, like one of those photographs that strikes you with its candor and drowns ambient sound.