I know I should be writing my paper, but this is too funny. I'm on this website called I Used to Believe and came across this entry:

"one time (about 6ish) i called my brother a bastard. my father overheard, smacked me and said do you know what that word means? no. It's someone who doesn't have a proper daddy. So i thought that a bastard was half-human, half monster."

HA! Funny stuff! Now on to the paper.