Well, I was going to sleep, when I happened to read Mic's blog.

I have to say Mic, that's not too personal, in my opinion. I have felt the same before, and I have certainly felt that way recently. I remember a post on my old site where I said that I want to be so many things to so many people, while the truth was, I would have been satisfied if even one of them were true. I still want to be someone's best man. My brother didn't even invite me to his wedding. I still want a best friend, and it's weird that you wrote the whole thing about calling you first with the news, because I vaguely recall a similar plea from my own troubled spirit a while back...

I'm not saying any of this just to attempt to fix your problems, but just to tell you that everyone (or at least I) feels the way you do at a point. Until you get through depression, until you reach the promised land (the abundant life), God will break you and shape you. The reason you go through stuff like this is so that you can see God's love. Hear me out. I know you can't feel it, but at least you know it is there. Knowing this, that we are daily being confromed to the image of His son, you must realize that as the days and the earth wax worse and worse, you are growing and flourishing in the Lord despite your feelings. He has saved you from so much, Michaela, and already knows your beginning and end. He knows exactly what to do to fix your circumstance and will most certainly fit you for whatever ministry He will call you to. He is faithful and will certainly do this.