So I realized today that maybe the reason I stink at school is because I hate what I'm doing. I'm beginning to think that maybe I should go back to the beginning of my dreams and just move to New York City, as planned, and become a famous director. I had wanted it for so long, and gave it up for a reason that escapes me.

This world is full of people who had many dreams, never fulfilling any of them. Not to sound trite or anything, but that's definitely the truth. Why can't I just stop everything and go do what I want to do? Why do I have to suck it up now, do something I hate and wait for the right moment to begin living? I'm alive now. I feel like i've clipped my own wings to stay in a confined space that I created. I don't want to grow up only to realize what God had for me, and that I gave it up so I could play it safe and do the usual course.

I'm diligent when I want to be (think about that one for a second), and now is the time to let go of these foolish ambitions. They've taken me too far and I've payed for them. I don't think this is what God has for me, there has to more than this. Right?