This is funny. These people from theplug.net share ways of avoiding actual work at the workplace. Enjoy:
• I open lots of spreadsheets and frown at them like, “I’m very busy concentrating on these highlighted cells. They hold the key to my life."
• Tip: Excel makes you look busier than Word.
• Sometimes I open a book of client contacts and then just dial the time and temperature over and over again so people won't talk to me.
• Also, I mouth numbers like, “…47, 48...” I totally went to college. Thanks, college!
- Sarah B., Project Manager
• Try walking everywhere very quickly, in a huff, running out the door and saying in this important voice, “I'll be right back," like you’re all put off, but then go smoke in your car.
• If you act mad, no one is going to ask you to do anything.
- Penny P., Account Manager
• My trick is to open an application and click on subfolders with furrowed eyebrows, like I'm trying to find a file that's been misplaced.
• Sometimes, too, I will customize the size of an internet page to fit inside a window on my Outlook, so it looks like I'm reading email.
• Also, scanning for viruses or anything with a bar that says "% complete" is your friend.
- The Plug, Office Manager
• The best is when I do “research." I do a lot of "research," which means I pull up the Yahoo finance page and stare into space. I read articles online only through the first paragraph, and then I e-mail it to people saying it's a really good article they should read. And they think, "Man, she's really up on her stuff."
• I also walk hurriedly down the hall with a stack of papers in my hand looking all busy, and then I throw them in the recycle box.
• You can spend a good half hour organizing your e-mail. Sometimes read all the junk mail.
• A spreadsheet with a crap load of numbers on it is nice to have at your disposal, too. When people come in, you can sigh.
• Oh, and keep a pen in your hand at all times. Every now and then, grab your calculator and start adding people's phone numbers. Then pretend you screwed it up and get all mad and start over.
- Alexis T., Marketing Coordinator
• I open lots of spreadsheets and frown at them like, “I’m very busy concentrating on these highlighted cells. They hold the key to my life."
• Tip: Excel makes you look busier than Word.
• Sometimes I open a book of client contacts and then just dial the time and temperature over and over again so people won't talk to me.
• Also, I mouth numbers like, “…47, 48...” I totally went to college. Thanks, college!
- Sarah B., Project Manager
• Try walking everywhere very quickly, in a huff, running out the door and saying in this important voice, “I'll be right back," like you’re all put off, but then go smoke in your car.
• If you act mad, no one is going to ask you to do anything.
- Penny P., Account Manager
• My trick is to open an application and click on subfolders with furrowed eyebrows, like I'm trying to find a file that's been misplaced.
• Sometimes, too, I will customize the size of an internet page to fit inside a window on my Outlook, so it looks like I'm reading email.
• Also, scanning for viruses or anything with a bar that says "% complete" is your friend.
- The Plug, Office Manager
• The best is when I do “research." I do a lot of "research," which means I pull up the Yahoo finance page and stare into space. I read articles online only through the first paragraph, and then I e-mail it to people saying it's a really good article they should read. And they think, "Man, she's really up on her stuff."
• I also walk hurriedly down the hall with a stack of papers in my hand looking all busy, and then I throw them in the recycle box.
• You can spend a good half hour organizing your e-mail. Sometimes read all the junk mail.
• A spreadsheet with a crap load of numbers on it is nice to have at your disposal, too. When people come in, you can sigh.
• Oh, and keep a pen in your hand at all times. Every now and then, grab your calculator and start adding people's phone numbers. Then pretend you screwed it up and get all mad and start over.
- Alexis T., Marketing Coordinator
posted by Matt at
2:11 PM
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