This is too funny for me not to post it. I am going to edit out the cussing, but in case you haven't been, Amir Bobrooni is extremely funny:
"ANYWAYS, where was i?
Oh right, umm... as im sure you guys know, lifes most awkward situation is walking towards somebody, who is walking towards you, and you sort of know that person. My campus is built on a sort of incline, so at the given point, if the stars align properly i can make eye contact with a person i may or may not have to wave to about 3 miles before i actually pass him. Heres the break-down of what usually goes-down
(distance - description of situation)
300 yards - still far enough so you can stare that guy in the eyes, to make sure you know if its really that person you sort of know.
250 yards - Uh oh! better start fake looking to the right or left soon. have you checked your fake watch yet? call that plan B. i guess.
200 yards - crap, the other person clearly saw you look at him/her. now its just a matter of assessing wether you two will mutually fake avoid each other.
150 yards - Hey i wonder if the sun is still in the sky? you wonder as you stare up at earths heat source as another way to avoid him.
100 yards - its basically a joust, make your decision now, wave? dont wave? say something? maybe even STOP!?
50 yards - brief look overs to see if they ar goin in for anything too crazy... kay theyre not.
MULTIPLE CONCLUSIONS:
"Hey/Hey" The cordial Hey. hey. You guys awknowledge each others existence but dont need to say too much.
"Wave, then scratch your head" You wave. Holy crap theyre not looking, ummm umm i just had an itch... i swear i did.
"Heyoookaaaay im not talking" You say hey, they walk by, you turn your hey into some sort of hum or talk to yourself soliliquy.
"Be the b*tch." You always say hi and they dont look. This time you're determined to walk by without looking, they say HI they WAVE but youre mind is f'ing SET. Youre the butthole today, but thats just fine.
The situation is quite awful, as you can see, and often ends unpleasently..."
"ANYWAYS, where was i?
Oh right, umm... as im sure you guys know, lifes most awkward situation is walking towards somebody, who is walking towards you, and you sort of know that person. My campus is built on a sort of incline, so at the given point, if the stars align properly i can make eye contact with a person i may or may not have to wave to about 3 miles before i actually pass him. Heres the break-down of what usually goes-down
(distance - description of situation)
300 yards - still far enough so you can stare that guy in the eyes, to make sure you know if its really that person you sort of know.
250 yards - Uh oh! better start fake looking to the right or left soon. have you checked your fake watch yet? call that plan B. i guess.
200 yards - crap, the other person clearly saw you look at him/her. now its just a matter of assessing wether you two will mutually fake avoid each other.
150 yards - Hey i wonder if the sun is still in the sky? you wonder as you stare up at earths heat source as another way to avoid him.
100 yards - its basically a joust, make your decision now, wave? dont wave? say something? maybe even STOP!?
50 yards - brief look overs to see if they ar goin in for anything too crazy... kay theyre not.
MULTIPLE CONCLUSIONS:
"Hey/Hey" The cordial Hey. hey. You guys awknowledge each others existence but dont need to say too much.
"Wave, then scratch your head" You wave. Holy crap theyre not looking, ummm umm i just had an itch... i swear i did.
"Heyoookaaaay im not talking" You say hey, they walk by, you turn your hey into some sort of hum or talk to yourself soliliquy.
"Be the b*tch." You always say hi and they dont look. This time you're determined to walk by without looking, they say HI they WAVE but youre mind is f'ing SET. Youre the butthole today, but thats just fine.
The situation is quite awful, as you can see, and often ends unpleasently..."
posted by Matt at
12:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home