"...i dress myself in the curses of grief
and swear off love by impatience.
most of all, i fear breaking my own heart
by throwing it at someone
without arms to catch.
but the truth of the matter is,
your laugh undoes it all."

-anonymous

Dear children of the earth,

I have made a grievous discovery today. Santa is a sham.

Very truly yours,
Matt

It's Wednesday and the most valuable thing I own is my fresh ticket to see LOTR tonight. Bittersweet... I don't want it to end. I just feel so completely involved with these characters and this is it...

Anyway, the past few weeks have been very busy and I haven't been up to writing after work or anything. Maybe when i get a computer at my house.

I have the most amazing immune system in the world. I swear, if that was the flu, I'm a superhero. It only lasted like three days and I didn't even get a raw nose from blowing too much...

So that's pretty much all that's going on right now. I'm also working on an essay for my application about the importance of knowing your own culture, and how grits are pivotal to Kentuckians such as myself. I'm horrified of applying. I went to the site the other day and looked at the latest class profile, the one that would have come after my original class, and my SAT scores are almost exactly at the 50% mark. The first time around they were well above average. So obviously there applicant pool is getting more qualified, and their acceptance rate has also dropped a few percentages.

Having said that, my college grades are extremely mediocre, but I think I still have a shot as long as they base a lot of it on my portfolio. Speaking of, I need some ideas... And I was going to buy my camera this week (sorry Meg, I am still going to need your help though) but I'm going to pay a debt so I can go back to school... I'm going to take at least one class, maybe two. Both on Wednesdays.

Here I am again, at that place where I make up my mind one way or the other. Sigh...

I talked to my brother two nights ago. It was really awkward talking to a man whom I haven't spoken to in over a year who is supposed to be the kid I grew up with. His voice was pale and distant and he seemed incredibly uninterested. I became more and more reluctant as the conversation dissipated. He was different.

Surprise surprise, I guess. That's how Mom and Dad are as well. But whatever happened to us? When did we all change? I swear we weren't like this yesterday. Or maybe I just wasn't paying attention.