If I could bottle whatever substance it takes to be inspired, I would probably be a rich man. But what I know is that God has poured it into my heart right now, and I'm inspired to greatness for the time being. So, I'm going somewhere else to draw.

Finally. A drawing inspiration. And with six short weeks before I send off my application, it's not a moment too soon.

An entry from here.


"I went to the supermarket before church to pick up some stuff. As I was leaving, the checkout person said, "Have a nice Superbowl!"

Whaa?

I usually keep up with the latest trends and developments. I must of missed a memo or something. I mean, when you drop the definite article, you're talking MAJOR holiday.

I can hear the conversation around the water cooler tomorrow.

"Hi Shirley, how was your Superbowl?"

"Wonderful, Jack. We had the best Superbowl ever."

Oh well, at least we won't have to worry about the fanatical Christians bitching and moaning because "they've taken the Christ out of Superbowl. "

Jesus is not the reason for this season."

HA! By the way, he's a Christian himself.

Dashboard Confessional is awesome.

"Well, so what if your friends think I'm crazy
I wasn't trying to impress those girls anyway
They're all theory, no action
And where I come from we live like it's the latest attraction"

I'd like to announce my discovery of Philip's website. Good stuff. What a guy.

From 37,000 feet above land:

"I've been sitting here for three hours, static, thankfully alone, and eagerly chasing the sun that flies west perpetually to its horizon. This hopeless chase is proving futile but is making the longest, most beautiful sunset I've ever seen. The sky is the deepest blue, almost frighteningly so; as dark as the Pacific.

From here I can see the outer window where ice crystals are simultaneously forming and melting like tiny prismatic needles dividing the light into every color across my face. It is amazing how they look so firelike, almost as embers, but the light I see through these embers is only a magnification of the red sun as it slowly and subtly fades.

----

'Use el cojin de su asiento para flotacion. Use the seat cushion for flotation.'

Has anyone actually been able to do this? Ok, even if I were to live through a crash into the Gulf of Mexico, would this little seat keep me afloat for that long? And wouldn't it be difficult for the rescuers to find one person clinging to a small, square butt-pad in the middle of the gulf? Hopefully others would live. Then we could unite. Team up. Form a coalition. Or maybe that's just enticing the sharks.

That's probably what the sharks want us to do, group together. Yeah, I bet this little 'use el cojin de su asiento,' nonsense is being funded by the 'Feed the Sharks Organization.' And I bet it's based in Canada.

It's always the Canadians.

----

The sun is long gone, the first star is out, and the synthetic light above me is now my only way of reading. The shadow it casts is invasive; I much prefer the sunlight. The sky is still blue, but darker, almost as if we have been poignantly piercing it more and more deeply since the sun's exit from this scene. I am beset by the fright of this overwhelming sky that continues to fall on the fading horizon, and I would wish this for no one.

I am not jealous of this lonely sky, not of its beauty and especially not of its clarity; I have come to appreciate the clouds."

-Matt Priestley

Arizona sucks.

So anyway, now that I'm back to reality it's time to read and read and read... I finished Beowulf on the plane, which was great, especially the last part about the dragon and all. There are some quotes I'd like to get up some time too.

I'm also reading a book called "Obasan" which is Japanese for the word "Aunt." It's by this amazing author name Joy Kogawa and her life growing up and the times with Obasan after her uncle's death. Oh, and she's a Christian, so far as I can tell, which makes it even better. Highly recommended.

That's it for now. How have you all been?

I'm leaving on a jetplane, but I know when I'll be back again. Next tuesday.

Arizona might as well be a foreign country, based on the climate, dryness, and desert atmosphere commonly attributed to it. Honestly, one of the best things about this week is that I can relax without putting forth any effort in anything.

Have fun while I'm gone kids, and play nice. And I love you, just in case the sky falls on our heads.

Someone asked me to put a non-vague picture of myself on here.

Granted, this was a lucky shot on a good day, but here you go. The second one is the same picture only posterized...

Upon visiting Dave's house after we went to buy the Pirates of the Carribean dvd:

Me: Oh hey, there's two dvds! Guess what the second one is!

Dave: Uh... Muppets in Space??

*Ahem*

Bravo David.

The Alexis files... dun dun DUNNNN!!! Seriously, this was a good photo day for her.

My relationship with God has been lacking lately, and has been weak and unstable at best for the past year or so. The strange thing is, I have so often just meditated on that fact alone without any repentance or regret. Relationships with friends have been weak or strained in their own respective ways as well, sometimes just because of my unwillingness to stop focusing on my own advancement and significance.

I write this without any strong emotion brewing inside me, which I think is the most honest condition for writing, and I have come to the realization that love is not in word but in deed. I have experienced the kind of love that others have had for me in the past (one particular incident comes to mind, but I won't announce it to the world because she did it for me in secret), and I want to be able to love others like that. I want the type of fellowship that was intended by God in the beginning, but primarily I want to love Him with deeds and not just words.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely believe that I am saved based on my faith in Christ alone, but I also believe that James is not exaggerating when he says that faith without works is dead. By this he's asking how can you love God and show absolutely no regard for Him in your life? Being saved is being freed from the bondage of sin and being changed into a servant of God; you can't have the former without the latter, and since I know from what He has saved me, how can I not live my life for His pleasure?

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. (Revelation 4:11)"

I'm really excited about school, and I feel much more safe taking these classes than ones in the past. It seems as if doing this to the glory of God is actually going to happen this time. I think the point of living to His glory is doing what He wants you to do, then doing it with all your might, even if it means reading something you'd rather not, or writing on something you couldn't care less about; even if it means taking phone calls all day at work from people who will cuss you out personally for something you have no control over; especially when it means being humble in those outraging situations that culminate in every area of life.

Forget the reasoning and implications of the statement "People are saved by grace alone," because frankly, if one is saved, the works, the good fruit, will always follow. He won't plant a seed without the expectation that it will grow, and He won't let any Christian live without being conformed daily to the image of His Son, who is perfect.

In the spirit of "moving lights" photography, I accidentally took this crazy picture. Woot!

Quote of the day:

"Darling,

My pining ears are drawn to your lips, love. Your words begin daily for me, and I wish you to know that I wish we'd never met. You are mesmerizing, my darling, the way you don't say things to me, the way unsaid things are different when they are unsaid by you, and it minces my heart when you don't see me, fair one, but I love the way your apathy is undoubtedly more mincing than another's. Your intensity is haunting and leaves me breathless and pale, until I am utterly broken. I hate when it rains love; it rained when we met. So please know that your song overwhelmed me and echoed almost perpetually until it all ran together and faded into dust. I can't hear it now, love, but my pining ears are still drawn to your lips. And I want you to know that I love you and hate you and even if you have broken and discarded me many times, I am wholly and reluctantly yours. I am scared, love, and I am still unmended at the handle.

Love,
Me"

-Anonymous (Don't ask me where I found it)

--

School started today for me. It looks more promising, or at least feels a little more solid than it used to. Having goals makes the status quo a little more stable and direct.

But I'm still scared that I'll fail again. Especially when some of your friends think it's a bad idea.

Oh well. If this is a mistake, then we'll see. But for now, I'm excited that I might learn stuff from these classes, and maybe have some experiences like the ones I had in AP English so long ago. That's still by far the best class I've ever taken.

Anyway, more later, I have a class at 2:00pm...

Here's a drawing I did, in black & white, then in color. That's my hand over he pic, and that's only one half of the picture. I'll post the whole thing when I take some more pictures... Tell me what you think anyway.

My new camera, how do I love thee.

I am so greatly annoyed right now.

Registering for classes at the last second is one of the most frustrating things ever. The only class I want is closed, and even when I find a decent class to take, the last seat is filled while this slow computer seals my fate.

AAAAAAARGH!!!!

(-- 1 hour later -- )

Ok, well I have two decent classes now... And the one I wanted is still closed, and so shall it ever be I'm afraid. But at least one of the classes is with a past professor, one on whom I did not make a horrible impression I think. That's always good. Can anyone say, "recommendation?"

Which reminds me, I already have one recommendation from my super-cool supervisor, who is all for me quitting my job to move to New York if necessary.

She's 22, and a student herself over at the University of Tampa. She originally majored in theater and switched to international business and finance to pursue a career of travelling on a six-figure salary. I have to say, that is mighty enticing as I would assume the job security in that field is fairly certain.

Anyway, that's all for now, just working, taking pictures, etc. Oh, I bought a digital camera. Canon Powershot A70. I love it. And the coolest thing is that it has available interchangeable lenses, which I will invest in probably by this summer. The telephoto lens is hot.

Later.